


No One Touches My Coffee

by smithy_of_words



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/F, Silly, coffee is serious business
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2019-12-30 19:15:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18321527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smithy_of_words/pseuds/smithy_of_words
Summary: It's two years after the fall of the Reapers. The Citadel has been reconstructed, business is thriving, and our favorite OT3 stops by a coffee shop for some refreshment while on shore leave. Shenanigans ensue.





	No One Touches My Coffee

**Author's Note:**

> Based on scientistsalarian's writing prompt on Tumblr: It's okay, I'm not mad... (five-minutes later): Actually? You can go to Hell.  
> Thank you!

 

“Oh, was this your drink?” The short Asari looked up at Marin, taking a sip of the latte in question.

“Ah, I think so,” Marin chuckled awkwardly. “But it’s okay, really. I’ll go get another one. It’s fine.”

“Well, if you say so.”

“Ha…heh…yep, that’s…I mean, it is what it is. You have a good day now.”

Shepard walked over to where Miranda and Jack were waiting by the doors.

“What’s wrong? Didn’t you get your drink?” Miranda raised an eyebrow, sipping her black iced coffee.

“Well…yes, but there was a mix up and that Asari thought it was hers, so…I guess I’ll get whatever she ordered instead.”

Jack smirked, biting into a flaky pastry and getting crumbs all over her shirt. “Hopefully it’s something not shitty.”

 

Marin cleared her throat softly by the Salarian barista.

“I’m sorry to bother you. I think there was a mix up, and someone accidentally took my drink. It’s not a big deal. So I guess I’ll just take whatever they had. Um…what  _did_  they have?”

The Salarian didn’t even look up from his machine, doing seemingly five things at once without breaking his concentration. “Hm…short Asari? Yes, caramel, two extra shots, special milk, extra-whipped cream, and less ice. I see here you ordered a plain latte, Shepard. Will that be an acceptable exchange?”

Shepard forced a soft smile on her face.

“That will be…just fine.”

She eyed the sugary monstrosity warily and held it as if it would burst into flames at any minute.

 

Miranda had finished her coffee and slurped nosily in surprise when Shepard joined them.

“Seriously? You’re really going to drink that? You hate that kind of thing.”

Jack laughed. “Oh my God. We should totally find that bitch and knock her drink out of her hand.”

Miranda elbowed her. “What purpose would that serve, exactly? Shepard still wouldn’t have her drink, and the Asari would just be confused and offended.”

Jack crumpled up her pastry bag and tossed it in an arc toward the waste bin.

It bounced off the side, and she swore.

Marin chuckled, taking it all in…then paused.

 

“Wait, Miranda!” She grabbed her arm.

“What, what is it?”

“She said, ‘was this your drink?,’ and she took a sip before I answered. Which means, she had no intention of giving it to me. She was already drinking from it. This is brilliant!”

“I don’t—I’m sorry, what’s so brilliant about this?”

Jack wiped the powdered sugar from her mouth on the back of her hand, grinning.

“It means, that the Asari is fair game. Let’s follow her.”

Miranda rolled her eyes. “Couldn’t we just ask for another drink? I’m sure they’d be happy to make you another. It’s not exactly complicated.”

Marin narrowed her eyes. “No, Miranda. _Now_ , this is personal.”

She walked over and put the coffee back on the barista’s counter. “You can drink this, or throw it away, I don’t mind. I have to leave.”

The Salarian just shrugged and went back to work.

 

The three strode quickly from the coffee shop on one of the Upper Wards of the Citadel, leaning over one of the railings for a better view.

“There!” Shepard hissed, pointing at the Asari in question two floors below them. “By the reflection pools.”

Miranda wiped her hands over her face. “I can’t believe we’re doing this.”

Jack whacked her in the arm. “No whining, let us have some fun for once.”

 

Marin was already on the move, weaving in between customers and diplomats alike, and running down the stairway, taking them two at a time.

“Ah ha! She was talking to that Hanar earlier.”

 

Shepard waved her arms wildly in front of the floating pink alien. “Hey, um, question; you were talking to an Asari just now. Any idea which way she went?”

“Hm…This One wishes to inquire why you want to know.”

“Because, I’m…Shepard. Savior of the whole _friggin’_ galaxy, and I think I’m owed answers!”

Jack just laughed. “Oh sure, we can’t namedrop you and your accomplishments to get a better seat in a restaurant or a fancy club, but  _this_  is how you use your power?”

Marin’s eyes narrowed, her biotics pulsing in a faint blue aura around her, making her dark skin glow inhumanly.

“What’ll it be?”

“This One is happy to spread the light to one who helped spread the word of the Enkindlers. The Asari went across the bridge to your left.”

Marin nodded her thanks, then took off running again.

 

Miranda caught up with her on the other side, grasping her shoulder tightly.

“Shepard, wait. We can’t just rush in like this.”

Jack rolled her eyes. “Okay, here she comes, ruining everything.”

“No, I’m not saying we stop…I’m saying we  _think_  about how we proceed. How would it look for your image if the Great Commander Shepard,  _Savior of the Galaxy_ , were to assault a civilian for seemingly no reason in broad daylight?”

“So, what’s your alternative?”

Miranda folded her arms across her chest. “You’re forgetting that your partners are two of the best biotics around, not to mention your own considerable skills. I’m sure we can work something out.”

Even Jack nodded. “She’s got a point.”

 

The Asari took a sip of her drink, smiling to herself.

_Stupid Humans. Even the highest of them is a pushover._

As she lifted the cup to her mouth, her foot caught on something, sending her sprawling to the floor in a heap.

The coffee left a large stain over her expensive dress, and her mouth gaped open like a surprised fish.

 

A floor above her, at a small garden café, Marin took a small sip of her new latte.

Miranda and Jack smirked, waving down at the embarrassed Asari below.

“This was petty, Shepard…but _so_ damn fun.” Miranda mused.

Shepard just took another sip of her coffee and smiled.


End file.
